Last day of Vacation

Technically I suppose its just Sunday and Wednesday was the last day of vacation vacation, but thats semantics right?

I feel much better today, the only thing concerning is the slight rattle in my chest so I'm hoping it didnt migrate from my throat/sinuses to my chest because as we all know she with asthma doesnt do well with a chest cold.... and I've already had several coughs today that went through and my back is slightly sore.... here's hoping

Found the thermal hoodie that I use as a liner for my Pats hoodie woot. Also the pats lost, which is a bummer, hopefully SD can hold onto their lead, that'd be awesome....

Watching Arrow eps watching S2 E22/23 and in the clock tower broken window/glass all I can see now is a Dalek... well the mirakuru army was trying to exterminate....

So onto my actual thoughts today, i was thinking about that article Em shared about telling more people about your mental illness and here's the thing. I do it but, I do it with the intention of driving people away. .Honestly its like my move to get people to back off.... its like you corner me and I'll lash out, just what kind of lashing out you get depends on you and/or the situation. Back me into a chair and hover over me yelling, i pull my legs up and kick you away, unfortunately you break your wrist (sorry mom), i was 10.... or your an adult and corner me in my cube and I yell louder than I should at work to get the fuck out of my face, though that did stop you from being a bulling bitch ha.. or you're just making me uncomfortable or trying too hard, or hard?, and I lead off with hey yeah I"m fucked up, damaged, you know i've been in the looney bin and have been in therapy for longer than anyone should be also I've tried to kill myself more than once, thanks have a nice day.... that usually does the trick... so ummm perhaps thats not the best way to share? Occasionally, no infrequently, no super rarely, whats the better superlative to super rare here? Anyway someone doesn't turn tail and run and they stick around, now it does take me a while to believe it but it is nice.... so I could probably do it better, but really how do you judge who to trust? and what the hell kind of topic am i? sometimes i think i should come with a weird instruction manual...

so I'm going to seriously consider this advice "All that failure needs is a person frightened of realizing their potential. Trying takes guts. So let other people help you. And when they do… listen to them. Don’t rush. Don’t nervously mutter “yeah” after everything they say. Listen. Take your time. Leave the room without any regrets." - SA

also I was going to migrate this all over to WP because basically its here for my own laziness but then it wouldnt be as anonymous.... anonymity here is basically the reason I can continue it, that and its all no index no followed you know that helps too.... cant have people stumble upon this, you never know the reaction or overreaction or what would happen... therefore it stays