Technically 2 weeks down...

I don't care... I find it really hard to really care about anything... I "watched" the Patriots game tonight and barely paid any attention.... mute the whole time... just it was on, yeah they won but it was just happening I didnt really care....

We got like 4" or so friday night... I didnt shovel.... partially because I didnt care, partially because I got my period and had some terrible cramps today... which I resorted to advil for... which I'm going to take again since they've returned...

New job at work which I dont know what to think about... I just I dont know... if I can just work, nothing else I can get through a day... like I went to happy hour and it was okay, it was good i suppose.. i'm not entirely sure, i'm also not sure what i think about my new job... it makes sense but is it lateral or upward? no idea.. and i care but i dont... and if they try to put me in a shared team space or move my chair that may be a dealbreaker... honestly the place i sit now is the best spot i've ever sat, its a window, which is nice but its also where nobody is behind me... my back is to the window so no behind you noise... and its almost like its a private corner... nobody really around me... i can put my headphones on if i want and just disappear... and if someone wants to talk to me they have to come to me... so i dont want to lose it...

i've been wondering if 40 is in the cards for me... its a whole 15 or so months away... can i do that? can i even make it to hvff... or code8... i want to but i'm not sure i care... also nephew in 5 months... i still wonder if both are better off if i'm gone before they remember me..