Extended time to think

Thats really what vacation is, generally and maybe more so at the moment. Thus the onslaught of posts.

Anyway, I was thinking, several things actually. First off I was thinking about how when i was younger hs/college when I'd be really depressed and want to favor where you could live but not have to deal with the existing part. Well I'm kind of existing without living, yet if I got rid of the existing to live I'm not sure I'd know how to.. does that make sense?

Also Erica's having a girl, which is cool. I'm not sure what else to say, I'm not going to move to Austin. Mom asked and no, its not me... I really do prefer the Northeast and Pittsburgh is on the outer edge of that geographical area as it is.

I'm going to go the next 4 days likely without speaking with another human face to face who I know. Kim is out road tripping with the family in NYC for NYE. And I was thinking about how I mentioned in that letter about her, she's the friend who is there regardless. And she's tried to include me, like she's invited me to family cruises, but the thing is its her family cruise. I wouldnt know what to do, and since its her family she deserves time with them because I'd either stay in my room or want her time because I wouldnt know anyone. So not really a fair outcome either way.

I'm thinking of checking work email, but I dont want to, yet i do since it would give me something to do for the next 4 days....

Also I was thinking about my position on Christmas and Birthdays, for me. And its like cheating becuase its like shopping with other people's money but in a weird way. Like thats something thats 100% ok when you're young, but its just weird now. Like I'd prefer a gift that was thoughtful and cool from someone that was unexpected and totally me. Never gonna happen, I'm not sure people know me well enough to do something like that. Honestly the only time that approached that was the suprise birthday cake I got at work like 7 or 8 years ago, I did get a little misty but dont tell anyone. That was awesome, unexpected and really nice of everyone on the team..

I think thats all the thoughts that were floating right now... more later probably