100th post...

so i sucked it up, i'm calm yet i know its fleeting... i know others are right that i should call and do something now than later and let it all cycle out again until i break down again like i did last night until such a time comes when i'll do something potentially regretable.. first i cant just abandon the animals, i just cant, i cant let someone pay for a kennel or whatnot i just cant.. and i dont know that i can handle a 30% cut in pay to go on short term... and i really dont want to go back to the shrink i saw last week... i'm not hysterical and i'm not freaking out so its kinda, it feels like i wont need anything although history tells another story...