self awareness

you know being self aware enough to know your crazy is shitty... plus its like if your self aware you should be able to figure it out and justs suck it up and stop it but i cant, i just want to sink in, drift off and fade away... plus not only am i self aware i'm aware of how i effect others, and you know what it sucks it sucks alot and if i could just die just stop being it'd be the last time i'd effect them...