meds schmeds

ok so i'm on not a schedule with my meds, mostly due to my sleeping arrangement on the couch at the moment, my routine is bombed, so i remember when i remember... and lately i've been feeling, not really feeling more a state of being of emptiness, nothingness... i have these exceptional articulations of things in my head, mostly at night keeping me up but i can never properly articulate these things during the day by speaking or by writing, i need some kind of thought recording device to do that properly.. also i forget there was an also, i'm just tired, like i want to take a day off but its like i wont get a damn thing done i'll just sleep all day.. its so pointless... and i'm more writing this to keep myself busy because if i dont keep myself busy, reading, working, watching tv or something i start to think about my life and the realization of how pitiful it is... and i want someone to care, wish it would happen that someone would or even could care without a commentary of insults accompanying it.. or something, i mean not even my family, my parents can do that... i seriously dont think that exists... listening to goodbye love ... and i need a nap, although i did fall asleep around 2:30 which is fairly good when my brain doesnt shut off.. i dunno, i have a meeting at 10, so i have a half our to fill my time and make sure i'm doing something, anything.. i'm not, no i'm sure i cant type for another half our of whatever comes to mind.. so i'll end here for now.. i may return if i become bored enough