to matt

hi matt... i want to talk to you but i have no idea how to bring up the topic... i'm confused with the whole situation, i sense that something changed last week and i cant put my finger on it... i wish i knew what it was or what i did but i'm never going to ask because i'm not sure i want to know the answer either... all i do know is i enjoy spending time with you but i dont really know what we are, friends? dating? somewhere in between is what i sense but my ability to sense social situations is primitive at best... what i really want is to just get to know you more, i'd really like to just sit with you and have your arm around me, but i dont know how to ask for that... the other day you didnt seem to want to really be near just around, and i understand that feeling i just dont know if there is an external reason aka me, or if it was just your mood... i have a feeling i should just cut my losses because i always only ever take what i can get usually and i dont want to push or ask for too much because i want to remain realistic about the fact that i'm not for everyone, or maybe anyone, i havnt figured that one out yet... so i'm not sending this to you instead i'm posting this on my little blog space where few people know it exists, though if you were curious enough its easy enough to find...