i'm still wide awake

ok cant sleep, watching tony danza teach.. and you know i was and still am jealous of people who have to work to learn and do so.. like it just is for me for the most part i dont have to work at it i dont have to think about it really it just kind of happens... and frankly i never cared or for that matter i dont care about my own aptitude... ahhh i have no idea what i'm saying but i do its weird... my articulation of my thoughts is like the worst... almost worse when i take my meds because i censor myself more than if i'm not... which is good and not... its weird... ok well i think thats all for now, hopefully i'll get sleepy soon, sleep is not something i usually have an issue with