So....

So, not sure what last I said, and I'm not gonna check so if there are any repeats, tough. :)

So Aubrey & I are going to the Code8 premiere in LA in 2017, yeah thats a long ways out for me to be planning. Aubrey assures me it'll go by fast, and frankly with her I know I'll have fun. Besides last time we were in LA there was fainting and rescuing and getting lost involved... it was a fun time sorta...

Woah, look at me... seriously next steps are humans... in person friends... the Code8 team is pretty awesome, seriously. Every person involved the media team, Stephen, Robbie, Italia... every person has been so great and as I said their enthusiasm was truly infectious. With 90min to go they are well over 1.7M which is 1.5M more than the original campaign goal!!! I did not win any of the prizes but it was really fun to be a part of.

And to top it off sorta, I took monday off... I was in need of a day off, and my birthday is a handy excuse when it creates a long weekend for me.... I'm actually considering moving my cleaning activities to upstairs... i know right? hallway first dont get ahead of yourself...

Lastly, I am stupid happy that my period has.... ok is winding down, its been a long time since I've had the kind of cramps that required advil.. and if you know me, thats saying something..

VR

My Samsung Gear VR came yesterday, i tried it out today... its pretty cool... not sure I'd have paid for it if it wasnt a promotion to get it free... but its still cool...

Also Code8 is chugging along exceeding all expectation...

I renewed my license, made the pork roast & have laundry going.... not a terrible Saturday...

I think its time to switch out the sweaters and put them away for the summer.. its too bad really I do like sweaters, but there wasnt much sweater weather this year...

Also I was thinking today about the whole people/friends thing... should i, sure yup absolutely.... is that practical, not so sure... can i even do that, again no idea... not my strong suit ... also thought of HVFF and people...

Other thoughts I've lost weight... clothes are oddly fitting now... I could stand to lose a substantial amount more... I think as long as nobody says anything I'll be good, thats oddly the kiss of death for me... someone noticing...

To turn on the heat or not to turn on the heat

Yes my titles are becoming more random, but that's more because I don't want to be repetitive...

Windchills are supposed to be in the teens with the dreaded S word in the forecast tomorrow night.... supposed to be 60 on monday so I *could* tough it out.. but its cold and rainy today and I'm considering caving on my rule of heat off on 4/1 and doesn't go on before 11/1  because that's the rules... we'll see what the weathers like tomorrow before I actually commit to a decision

I read something today, old post by Wentworth Miller, but its a good one overall. There is a passage about how saying self affirming, good speak to yourself can feel empty and just be words. Generally that's how I feel on any kind of talk yourself into it... just say it and you'll believe it type stuff. Honestly, I still do, good advice or not I'm not totally sure I'm sold on the idea, no matter how often a variation has been brought up over the past 28 or so years I've been in therapy of some form or another. But why am I telling you this when I thought its a good post, well its because to just be words with no energy, passion etc is well applicable to just about everything. Self-care or care in general isnt something I'd necessarily ascribe to myself in any form. Generally I don't care, and yes thats intended to be a blanket statement. The measure of which things effect me, emotionally that is, is infinitesimally small, an emotional shell is a fairly apt description. See no matter the energy level, like I had earlier or the lackthereof a month ago or the relative okay ness of right now... caring real actual put yourself into it and feel it caring is not what I do. I mean I care, but i dont Care... if that makes sense. Possibly I'm making it sound worse than it is... or maybe not, the thing is I dont really know. A gauge or having actual emotions to put into a gauge is something I've well crafted and aversion to. I suppose I've gotten somewhat better on what I feel, but I don't know belief in the feeling I'm still unclear on. Again not sure if that makes much sense.

Rare Monday In

Group was cancelled today.. so I had a whole Monday to myself.

You know this whole social media participation thing isnt as scary as I'd thought, granted I'm not offering hug opinions or anything and I have like 33 followers who are like randoms and unlikely to read anything.. so its not like I'm at risk or whatnot. But it is nice.. I also got a meme added to the album today too... I feel like I should go for the hat trick... though fan art friday is slightly out of my wheelhouse, I can photoshop well but art art not so much.... its April, so maybe by July I have 3 months to see if thats possible... unlikely though it is... Its weird how nice it is to have your stuff picked or question answered, its like I'm a little less invisible than normal. I'm okay with it, I mean I even left my name on indigogo whereas normally if I ever contribute to anything its anonymous... like last year i gave to my cousin's donor's choose, 2nd to last day and she had like $48 left to raise so I gave it.. anonymously, I feel like it'd be weird if I'd left my name on it. My other thought that I'm trying to ignore is the whole its unfair that I've gotten in 3 times on SA's page, once to the Code8 update and got a question answered... like thats not fair and I dont deserve that... but I'm really trying to ignore that thought, I've still had the thought but I'm ignoring it... so in the spirit of Wentworth Miller's self-care I suppose that and the nap I took earlier are my self-care for the day...

Stairs

I have 4 runs of stairs in the house, 2 are now clean along with the landings at the bottom and the middle... this is the start of making my way to upstairs and cleaning.... You know a couple months ago when i was go go go wind in my sails etc... yeah it wasn't like that but at least I'm doing something right? Even though I have literally not spoken with another human since Friday, again. I did text Dad but thats' because he wanted me to do something for the gallery, which I did, also told him to go earn some money at MIT we'll see if he actually does that.

Its April, there was snow today, its APRIL... as I said this morning the time for pranks was two days ago. Anyway as its April, I'm wondering what societal collective shit is going to be lost this year, we have a couple weeks til society usually implodes for a few weeks, and always over my birthday... totally unrelated but I notice because well its around my birthday... alright?

The class of ticket I got for HVFF is sold out.. so also I'm realizing I'm going, its slightly giving me anxiety, its also 3 months away...

Social, sorta

So I've been dipping my toes into the social media socializing... not really socializing but how about participating and its going well... let me explain. I've had a twitter account for a while, I seldomly used it but I've started joining the twitter conversations during Lucifer, Flash, Arrow & Legends and I've enjoyed. Also participated in some Q&A and got my question answered, it was an off topic but timely question given someone's Easter weekend antics which got a smile. I've been doing some FanArt stuff for Stephen and got my submission for lightsaber saturday added to the album 2 weeks in a row, dont know if i mentioned it. Also I turned one of them into a Code8 fan art, which was uber appropriate given the original and it got added to the official campaign updates so that was also cool. Next step, human in person friends...