goddamnit

 i'm so annoyed and worried, the person mentioned in the prior post and i decided to work out out issues and we're still in different states so it all made sense but he went to mosque on friday and i havent heard from him since i've decided he got into an accident on the way to/from and is in the hospital? i dunno i'm concerned and i have no way to contact him other than skype and he's now offline so his phone is dead, i'm just hoping he isnt dead... how long do i worry for? see it was never meant to be too improbable

improbability

 the improbability of it all gave me a nagging too good to be true but i wanted to ignore that, i've come to the conclusion i dont think i can. and while it sucks, it was only online but for someone to tick off so many of my boxes was incredible if i'm being honest, but i cant do what he wants, i could try sure, but would it be fulfilling for me? it'd be a nice escape for sure so am i running again like i did 20 years ago maybe? does it matter? its only been a week better now than a year from now right?