its weird how it happens

Its weird how it creeps up on you and then in you, then it starts to envelop you and threaten to swallow you

I've been feeling kinda crappy, and work is not , well work i think is part of the problem right now. Teams got jiggered around again... and back with the 'old' team but its like the first conversation i had was well how long do you think we should keep this, is it really good can we just make it ourselves and get rid of it... its like not even an attempt to see how it works or what the new features are, its overwhelmingly like its here but we're going to get rid of it and its like i dont know why i should care... also they want to change my job again... put me in dev... which i have a skillset for but i dont have a desire to do... i liked this job but i dont know the new structure doesnt see a need for the position so i almost feel like quitting, going to the premiere then tapping out... there really isnt anything... nobody is coming on the trip anymore even after it was their ideas, and one is totally understandable the other is just a lack of courtesy

i was pretty okay when i saw margaret on the 9th... and 10 days later not so much.. i just want to crawl in a hole and hide.... let me hide