Cruel is the Sandman

I can't sleep, frankly I'm not tired right now, though most of the day I was. I've had sleep problems for the past month... my sleep is totally jacked up and the insomnia monster is making it super difficult. How can one be tired nearly all day and when its time to sleep, when you get the tiny inkling of bedtime and you lie down do you wake up. Its so annoying, yet its just it is.

If you hadn't guessed I'm in a funky kind of depression. I don't know how to describe it, its sheer and total apathy but its not even, its more nothing. I kind of wish it were something, like the deep dark depression that envelops you so you sleep all the time... or even the crazy racing thoughts make you feel like you're losing your mind depression... or anything. I have an interview at 2pm today, thankfully its a phone interview but I don't even care about it... I have a followup interview on Thursday, yeah not really caring about that either. I think that even if I got a job I couldn't even be happy about it.