tired, cannot sleep

i would like to sleep please... work works its way into my brain and it just doesnt let go... i want to sleep damnit please.. i haven't been able to fall asleep easily in weeks, and forget about the holiday weekend every night has been like this but i gotta be at work today damnit please let me fall asleep

shambles

my life is slowly deteriorating... i feel like i'm losing matt, the best friend i've made in god knows how long and i hope i'm just being paranoid but i dont think so... all my routines are shot to hell there is like zero stability left and i just want to wave the white flag

so whats going on you ask? first routine shot to hell is lunch, will doesnt want to eat lunch anymore there is something likely medically wrong but he refuses to see a doctor since the result is he's losing weight... second routine shot to hell is work its just too much with no relief in sight really... third matt, several things here, we stopped saying goodnight to each other a while ago, we're not texting every day and if we do its barely passing as conversation, we havent been to each others places in over a month, the only contact we have is the weekend lunches while he's at work and the movie last weekend which felt to me like nearly two strangers going to dinner and a movie...

everything feels really strained, i just want to go back to normal where the routines are there is that so much to ask?