long weekend ahead

long weekend ahead.. a whole 4 days alone with my brain

sleep

dude my sleep is so jacked up, literally slept all day saturday and couldnt fall asleep til like 3am this morning, only took my usual 2hr nap yesterday too

thoughts

i've been having trouble falling asleep lately... i just keep thinking... and i was alittle upset last week when i went to see dr frye for meds and there was no letter about getting a new shrink or what had happened from my old shrink... and i watched in treatment the other night and some other weird eating show on A&E or something and i was jealous of how articulate people are or can be with their shrinks, i cant at least i havnt been able to be articulate and honest for a long time ... and i just watched both the lovely bones & my sister's keeper tonight and everyone has a story everyone has a life, we're all different so i think somehow that should allow me to move on and just i dont know not be so stuck all the time, stuck in the past, drowning in the present that i dont see my own future... and really at times i'm not sure one really exists for me... and i had a friend and i was sad that i didnt get invited to a halloween party... and its all the same, same patterns, same everything and i still barely feel anything but sadness or nothingness... happiness is so elusive and when i catch it its soo brief that it doesnt leave any impression...