Today is Sunday the 24th

Today is Sunday the 24th

Well I moved back monday afternooon following my final... awesome drive beautiful out, drivers tan now hehe... work called i started friday haha, i wasnt supposed to start til today!!! ahahahah i love work... yes im insane but work keeps me sane cuz i get to do something and be away from family and stuff.... although i realized i cant go job hunting tomorrow at any time cuz i #1 have to work, #2 its a holiday... DUH!

And i had my psych appt w/ Ellen (school) monday after my final... ugh she had to remind me of what a hell i came home to, although its all nice sorta, best behavior stuff for now.... its either the holiday weekend, or you know those first impressions stuff... havnt decided yet... anyways i have an appt w/ Karen (here) on thursday at 9am... oh well i'll do job hunting after that... im thinking wallyworld, starts at 6 somthin an hour or/and chadwicks starts at 12 somethin an hour to type all day hehe, neither is a very hard or thinking job... but not only do i want/need more money i also want/need to get outta the house as much as humanly possible...

other than that i havnt a clue as to what im gonna do all summer, my friends, or at least the friends i think i may have probably dont even wanna see or talk to me, none have made an effort to keep in touch, or recipricated my efforts to keep in touch, i try i get no response, and they dont even try... oh well, im destined to live and be alone.... im slipping i know, i was happy but im slipping, i couldn't even feel that happy i know it was, but i couldnt feel it....oh well see yas whenever

Today is Saturday May 29th

i know i know im a big slacker here yup i know.... anyways saw karen she's puttin me on meds.... lovely eh? im going wednesday to get em... ah what a life .... been semi suicidal well thinking and like that pit of the stomach feeling you know that feeling? oh well been working so it keeps my mind occupied for the most part you see i truly have no friends, i try to fake it but i know the truth... so i need to keep my mind occupied.... anyways been getting decent/good hours at trucchis and the full time job called back for an interview while i got called into trucchis so i have to call back monday now... but i should have a decent check this week anyways... hmm my life is so sucky you know that? ah well i suppose we'll see if the meds help... who knows? arrgh... so i guess i'll report back here when im on em n stuff... but for now bye

May 9 - May 16, 1998

Week of May 9 - May 16, 1998

Today is Saturday the 16th

OK, look i know im slacking here, so i will fill you in on the happenings of late. Last week er this week or whatever was the last week of classes, went well had two finals yesterday, did ok on calculus and chem well eh i was gonna fail the course anyways. So ive been doing major packing of my dorm room, its almost barren now. Gonna haul this stuff outta here tomorrow cuz i dont think there are many moving out then. Since my cars here i can do it at my leisure. Monday afternoon i'm movin outta here after my 8am final!! grrrr Monday mornin i expect to awaken with only my computer, alarm clock, change of clothes, comforter and pillows in here. I will sooo try and update regularly after this. It may not be daily but i will keep up this week thing even if its not chronologically correct n stuff, but i will try. Oh and i skipped my appt w/my psych thursday she called told me and i now have an appt at 10am after my final.. ugh oh well she's gonna try and convince me to make an appt with karen(psych from home) when i get back... the thing is im feeling ok and when i crash i dont crash as bad.... gonna try and find alot of work and work myself ragged... see you all (if you even take the time to read my pathetic ramblings) later!

Oh and my favorite thing GENERAL HOSPITAL (soap opera) got my favorite actor back friday SONNY RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!!

ok im done now, as 'Lucy Coe' would say "Ta!"

May 3 - May 9, 1998

Week of May 3 - May 9, 1998

Sunday & Monday

well.... sorry ive been slacking again havn't i.... i dunno semesters winding down..... ive just been... been... BEEN... existed... etc etc. ive been walking by my car wondering why i dont hop in and run away or hop in and drive off one of these cliffs around here, there are plenty to choose from im in the fucking mountains... im like so complaicent and i cant i dunno... i just am, and its just not.. i dunno...

Thursday

ok when i forget to do a day i'll just leave it out.... anyways i know i had something really intelligent to say today and i cant for the life of me remember what that was.... grrrr.... *sigh* oh well... my plan is to pack as much as possible then not need much to pack when im ready.. ha... ok enough of that... i wish i could remember what my word of wisdom was... hope i remember.... this is getting dumber and more neglected as the semester winds down.. 4 days of classes left... ok im done... see ya whenever... sorry its been neglected lately...

April 26 - May 2, 1998

Week of April 26 - May 2, 1998

Sunday

the day hasn't yet begun really and i feel as though im dead... im so sad and i dont know what about really, alot of people forgot about my birthday which isnt so strange, it always happens and every year i want them to remember only to have those hopes of being 'here' dashed, why do i do that to myself? ugh... well i was crashing before, whats so strange about the fact that im unhappy & depressed? my cars here and to tell the truth its kind of scary for me, i mean i could just run away just hop in my car and go... actually i just want to sleep or die or something, i dont know... its all fucked up...

Monday

i hate waking up before my alarm goes off... grrrrrr.... prolly cuz i slept practically all day yesterday... oh well.... today was ok i suppose... crashed sorta then went to bed was ok... wicked tired went to bed again...

Tuesday

ok second day in a row ive woken up before the alarm... ugh... geez... oh well today was ok.... took 4 of us to paralell park a chicks car but hey... hehe... just noticed how untalkative ive gotten... although ive i dunno... its been weird

Wednesday

went in the field for lab.... hmmm strange day... just thought i have those pills, i should... instead i went to sleep then pam called and woke me up cuz i hadnt been around... said she was worried, i dunno... im gonna sleep... what happened? ugh

Thursday/Friday/Saturday

yeah i havnt been updating this, i know... seems slightly dumb... i sit down and if i stop like stop doing something i could and would die... so weird... anyways i have all this shit to get done so i dunno... one week and 3 days left of classes than finals... ugh